“Turn back and disappear” were my first thought as I pulled my car into the parking lot on Harrington Street on the 15th of November. 4 weeks later, I’m very happy that I did not listen to the voice inside my head.
It has been 28 days since my first day at diiVe — it’s funny how time flies when you are enjoying what you do. Each week has been completely different to the next — not only in terms of the work that I do as an intern but primarily myself as an individual — the emotions I felt, the growth, the realisations and so much more.
Week 1 was characterized by imposter syndrome. Never having been in the workspace in my life, I was confident that the team had made a mistake in hiring me and would soon find out I was a bad hire and useless. Whilst I tried to pretend that I was confident, after my millionth “sorry”, it became very evident that I was not. My coworkers, perhaps having picked that up, soon came to my rescue (or maybe that’s just how they are). Complimenting me on the work I had completed, giving me constructive criticism, and creating a space where I was comfortable asking my “silly” questions and sharing my thoughts and ideas.
Having a rough start, week 2 became easier as I got more comfortable. This was a big learning week for me. As a fake Gen Z — I am technologically challenged — it was hard to keep up with the many platforms that diiVe uses. But this did balance out with the research and writing tasks that I was given which is a more comfortable space for me. The biggest realization for me this week was that I truly do enjoy any kind of writing — research, blogs etc. and I want it to be a part of my future career.
Week 3 was all about developing my own professional identity. This, of course is not a short process but takes many years to develop. But after seeing my psychologist this week and doing some introspection — I realized that the one thing I NEED to embody is confidence. I am incredibly lucky that I work with very open-minded white people who did not undermine me despite my lack of confidence, but this might not be the case in my next job. As a hijab wearing woman of colour, lack of confidence can be incredibly dangerous and detrimental to my future career and opportunities. I need to stop doubting my abilities and start believing in what I am capable of just like those around me do.
Week 4 is where I realized how incredibly lucky I am to have my first work experience at diiVe (and I’m not only saying this because they are reading this article). My migraine episodes started early in the week and continued throughout. The diiVe team was incredibly empathetic and understanding. I have not received this level of sincerity and understanding in any other institution, and it has made it much easier to deal with the migraines when I am not also stressing about upsetting my superiors.
diiVe truly does embody a people-centric culture. It is the reason I chose to intern with them in the first place. From our personal check in questions to our beautiful year end retreat at Babylonstoren, diiVe has taught me that work can be enjoyable, and I do not have to choose a career in which I dread waking up every morning, there are other options out there. In my first 4 weeks at diiVe, the biggest takeaway from this experience so far has been the clarity I now have as to the kind of place I want to work in, in the future.
Wassila Ibrahim
